Autism: Verbal or Non Verbal which is worse?

Do you follow Autism Daddy's blog? The link is here http://autism-daddy.blogspot.com/. He has got quite a following, and I believe rightly so. I have loved reading his posts because they reflect the true struggle of being a special needs parent.

Until lately.

Now there is an US versus THEM thing going on. Or maybe Verbal versus Non Verbal.

When I worked as an ABA therapist my kid's parents would always say - if only he could talk. Things would be so much better if he could talk.

Except my kids could talk, and it did not make anything better.

My son started talking early and never shut up.

My youngest stopped talking, but she picked up the ability to mimic people early. She looked like she could carry on a conversation. That was enough for everyone else.

Now she can talk quite well. Except when she doesn't. Except when she just decides to stop. Except when she talks in Fruit Language which consists of the words "Pineapple" and occasionally "Apple."

My daughter being able to talk does not stop her from being overwhelmed at school. It does not stop her from trying to run in front of cars. It does not stop her from biting or hitting. It does not stop the Autism at all!!!!

Sure she can speak very well. Yet, she cannot tell me why school is freaking her out. She can not tell me about the bullies. She cannot put into words emotions that she does not understand.

Because she is so verbal she is expected to be typical. She is not.

As a person with Asperger's I understand that the words coming out of my mouth do not explain the world that is going on inside my head.

This discussion would probably not piss me off so much, except I am tired. I am alone. I have to fight so much harder to get services for my daughter, even though she is not functioning in this world.

There is no room in the neurotypical world for individuals with Asperger's. Now parents of non verbal children are trying to push us out of the Autistic World. As an individual with Aspergers this upsets me. As a parent. . . well I pretty much guarantee you that I have had just as much sleep as you (which is probably none) and I have just as many worries as you do (which are uncountable).

When I see you and your non verbal child in the grocery store I will do everything in my power to be supportive. Are you going to be like all the other parents and give me "the look" because my verbal nine year old is riding in the cart with her tablet to survive the trip?